But if your kids are picky putting balanced and varied meals on the table can be quite a challenge.
I often see parents falling into one of two traps:
1. Preparing the same familiar dishes for the kids and eating with the spouse later.
2. Making a balanced meal and if kids reject it, quickly whipping up an alternative.
But I believe that every family can share just one meal, regardless of how picky are the kids.
The key to planning meals with picky eaters in mind is a mix of PLANNING and BALANCE.
The goals to keep in mind is providing kids with the important exposure to variety AND having something on the table they can fill their bellies with.
Here are 5 steps to help you plan meals with picky eaters in mind
Step 1
Make a list of all foods your child currently eats. It is especially useful if your child has a pretty selective diet or you feel like he is always eating the same thing.
Divide the list into 4 food groups: protein, starch, fruit and vegetables and dairy. I will show you in a minute how this list help keep your child eat in a more balanced way.
For example, your child’s list may look like this:
Protein: smoked salmon, hummus, chicken nuggets.
Starch – bread, rice, crackers, mashed potatoes.
Fruit and vegetables: strawberries, apples, carrots, celery, green peas.
Dairy: milk, cheese, yogurt.
Note: Stick the list to your fridge and use as a reminder to include some of the safe foods in your grocery shopping every week.
Step 2
Make a meal plan with 3-4 main dishes and 3-4 breakfasts and snacks per week.
Here is the selection of my favorite easy family meals, sheet pan dinners and breakfast recipes you can use for inspiration. And here are 15 quick and easy family meals and 10 best family friendly sheet pan meals you can try.
Note: Alternate between favorite options of all family members, so that everyone gets something they really like for a main dish from time to time.
For example, if your child’s favorite is pasta, you love chicken curry and your spouse is a fan of roasted chicken, plan those with equal frequency for family meals.
Note: Plan to make a double or triple batch of at least two of the main dishes and plan for leftovers to be used in lunches for next day.
Note: Always serve some fat on the table, especially if you are serving a vegetarian meal. Examples: butter for toast, olive oil, mashed avocado, olives or cheese.
Step 3
Include 1-2 safe foods in each meal and snack. The key to success here is to be strategic. You may need to use the list you created in Step 1 to make sure you do not always serve the same food group.
Use safe side dishes to provide a safety blanket in case your child does not like the main or you are trying a new recipe.
For example, from the list in Step 1, you can incorporate carrots+hummus, strawberries+yogurt, bread+cheese in meals where the main dish is too much of a challenge for your child.
Note: You do not have to make the whole meal child friendly. Your goal is to provide something for your child to fill up on in case other dishes are not up his alley (yet).
Note: The best strategy is to integrate safe foods into the meal instead of serving them as an “alternative” for your picky eater. There is no “our food” vs “your food”. It all has to fall together as a (somewhat) balanced meal everyone partakes in.
For example: you made a lasagna and a salad your child does not like mixed dishes. Include some of his safe foods from the list above to round the meal: bread rolls+butter or apples+cheese.
Step 4
Double check for balance. While it is not your job to get your children to eat a balanced meal, it is your responsibility to aim to provide them with one.
For each lunch and dinner, plan to include 3-4 food group groups and an additional fat, especially if it is a vegetarian meal.
Examples:
Pizza + fruit + salad
Sausages + mashed potato + green beans
Lentil soup + bread + butter (fat) + yogurt
Baked chicken thighs + rice + broccoli +fruit salad + chocolate
Note: It is ok to include more options with dinner, especially if you have more than one child, enjoy more variety on the table or have lots of leftovers to finish. For instance, our dinner tonight included sausages, leftover breaded chicken fillets, cucumbers with hummus, roasted squash, rice and even leftover chickpea curry!
For each breakfast and snack, plan to include at 2-3 food groups.
Examples:
Boiled egg + toast
Cereal + milk
Pancakes + fruit smoothie
Toast with butter or avocado + milk
Crackers + cheese + fruit
Step 5: Plan an upgrade for bold palates. This step is the key to sustainable family meals because it keeps YOU, the cook, happy. So do not be shy, use all the exotic grains, unusual vegetables, favorite salads, sauces and spices you love.
If you use them in the main dish, make sure to include safe foods for your child in case he is not ready to dig in yet. Or serve them on the side as a compliment to the main dish that is a bit too boring for you.
Putting it all together:
Let’s say, I plan to serve a roasted chicken for dinner tomorrow, my spouse’s favorite. I can eat it sometimes, but am not a big fan and my kids do not like it at all.
My solution:
1/ Round the meal with mashed potatoes+green peas that my kids like.
2/ Add my favorite Greek salad or harissa paste to go with the chicken ( I like spicy food!).
Result: a balanced meal that makes everyone in my family happy! (Including the Mom :))
Finally, make sure to enjoy your own meal and allow your child choose what and how much to eat from what you offered. Choose to approach family meals from a positive angle and get support if you need a clear road map to turn your picky eater around and make mealtimes fun.
More on picky eating:
5 rookie mistakes that make picky eating worse
Such a useful post. I often hit a brick wall when it comes to menu planning as it just feels like there is so much my son doesn’t eat but you’ve got some great tips here.
Thanks Mandy! So glad you found it helpful.
So really good tips, thank you!
Thank you for these tips! My 2 picky eaters make it difficult so I can’t wait to try the list method!
Thanks Holley! Let me know how it goes 🙂
Great post, I strongly believe in meal planning for picky eating, now getting round of doing it!
Yes, absolutely! Meal planning for picky eaters is hard but possible!
Such an important topic, thanks for the tips!
Thank you Abbey!
These are such great tips Natalia! This would definitely come in handy those with picky eaters!
Thank you Jessica! I am so happy you liked them.
Oo much needed tips!!
Let me know if you decide to test them!
Such great ideas!
I love the idea of making a list of safe foods. This is something I try to tell even my adult clients when they are beginning to meal plan.
Thanks Emily. You are right, many adults need this strategy too!
Love it! Great advice here! Will share!
Thank you so much Sarah!
I think the trap I fall into is wanting to make sure the kids get enough protein especially at dinners and then that kinda drives the meal selection. If you follow this method and your child doesn’t eat enough to stay full very long would you just offer a snack they like later? Is that not encouraging them to just continue being picky knowing there’s something else coming? Thanks!
Yes, instituting a bedtime snack is helpful, especially if they are not big dinner eaters. But bedtime snack does not have to be only their favorite foods, otherwise, it is a reward. A pretty normal”boring” option or two is ok. Regarding protein: check this article I wrote to see if your concern is valid. https://feedingbytes.com/2017/06/child-getting-enough-protein/. I hope it makes sense and please let me know if there is there anything else I can help you with.
thanks! My daughter is the picky eater and I’m guessing she’s on the low side for protein, but that may be a false assumption so I’ll check for sure! She’ll turn 9 in 8 months though so it looks like from the chart her requirements will go way up then… but maybe for the next 8 months I can make a concerted attempt to feed her (and us) like you suggest here because we’ve definitely been making easy, balanced meals that they like and haven’t been working hard to introduce new foods. This seems like a really logical way to do it! And maybe on those days when I know she won’t eat the protein option I try to send a protein-rich lunch. Thanks for the tips!!
Typically, for picky eaters, iron is harder to get enough than protein. If she is turning 9 soon and her protein needs go up, makes sense to look into expanding her safe food choices. Definitely worth upping her midday protein if you know the evening meal will not include a protein-rich food she is willing to eat. Sharing the meals that you like plus a couple of her safe foods is the easiest way to expose her to more variety. Some kids need a more structured approach though, especially if they have special sensory needs or are very selective. Let me know how it goes! I am happy to hop on a quick phone call to see if I can help.
My son is 8, and an extremely picky eater, mac & chz is his supper just about every night unless it’s hamburger helper. I have to put fiber powder in his food. He is so picky, he’s the kid who doesn’t eat pizza. Or chz, the only fruit he likes to eat are bananas. I’m at my wits end, the dr. Just tells me he’ll grow out of it, but when!? I’ve been battling this for 6 yrs, since he was 2. Idk what to do, he would rather starve and go to bed. He cries when it’s something different, he gags or will tend to throw up if the tiniest piece of rice is in his mouth. It’s so stressful and I don’t know what to do. I’m lost, I feel like I’ve failed him in some way. I’m begging for help, cause I feel that no one else will
Hmm, at the age of 8 the typical pickiness is usually outgrown and it does not look like your child is a typical picky eater anyway. I would try looking for a root cause of his picky eating and try to support him (and you) in the areas where help is needed. Starving him is definitely not an option, you need gentle and responsive feeding strategies. It seems like there are anxiety and sensory issues that need to addressed, possibly alongside others. And I can see how stressful it must be for him and for you. As he grows up, his eating may start affecting his social life as well so it is important to intervene sooner rather than later. It is going to be a long journey but you will know that you are moving in the right direction. Please set up a free discovery call here to see how I can help: https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=13791849&appointmentType=3550044.
This is an incredibly useful post, I’m so glad I found it! My 2 year old is the luckiest eater I know, and I feel terrible because the mistakes we made while trying to get him to eat have made it worse. He basically survives on bread, fruit, and pepperoni! He won’t touch chicken (even chicken nuggets!) or anything with a sauce on it (even pizza or Mac and cheese! What kid refuses Mac and cheese?!)
So while we do eat together as a family each night, it’s always completely separate meals- we always offer him what we have, he ALWAYS refuses, and eats pepperoni or ham and fruit. Terribly frustrating…
Hi there and thanks for stopping by! Please do not feel bad about the mistakes you’ve made – there is very little support out there for parents of picky eaters. The food parenting might have made it worse, but most picky eaters have underlying problems, from anxiety to sensory challenges. And lots of kids refuse food with sauce on it, especially those who are hypersensitive to texture. I know that his eating looks and feels extremely frustrating, but you should also take credit for so many positive changes you have implemented: you stopped pressuring him to eat, you eat together and you serve a safe food at each meal. Your little one is also doing his best by showing up for meals, sitting down to eat and choosing from what is offered. Now the question is, is there anything else you can do to make it better? Probably yes, you can implement a few small steps to support him more, from anti-anxiety strategies to sensory games and gentle food chaining. I will need to know more to understand what exactly will be most helpful, so feel free to schedule a phone call to chat.